This whole cancer ordeal just seems to go on and on doesn’t it? I was mistaken that once I finished treatments that it’d be all over, cause it ain’t.
I’m better about it now, but I remember a few months ago, I worried every time I went in for my 3-month mammogram check – I remember telling myself I’m not going to be scared of the “what ifs”. All fine and dandy, I got past the fear of re-occurrence as much as I can; as much as any of us who have had cancer can I reckon. You just say the *ell with it, and go on, at least I did.
Well one of my buddies is dealing with a re-occurrence that has metastasized and I’ll tell you what, I went into such a heart sickness for her, it still makes my heart ache if I think about it too long… I’m going to try to help her out as much as I can and I will keep myself well and balanced at the same time for I ain’t going to be no good if I boo-hoo every time I see her 
Cancer is pissing me off.
As for myself, I finally get to have surgery and get “balanced” in about 2 weeks and then I can put that ding dong prosthesis to rest. I can’t burn it because I’m sure that would be bad for the environment, all that rubber, blah. I don’t know if I can even bury it because I don’t know if it’ll ever decompose, but I think that’s what I’m going to do. Bury it in my yard. Then I’m going to cry. Then I am going to go on and on…
Laura
I’m now one year of no evidence of disease (which by the way Halleluiah!) and I’m getting ready to get “balanced” out, literally. I go in for one more surgery in a few weeks to regain symmetry, which by the way, YAHOO! It absolutely sucked being a size b and a size d, and I am about sick and tired of my prosthesis. I just want to buy bras that fit and not have to wear scarves, vests or baggy shirts all the time to cover up my very pronounced lopsidedness. I just want to go back to somewhat being normal… in more ways than one.
Here I am, almost a year out from treatments and I was reading some of the comments left, some of the stuff I wrote, and it almost seems like another lifetime…
I’m 11 months out from my last Herceptin treatment, 11 months out and joyously counting 
September 28th, I’ll be able to say one year out from treatments and in October I’ll be celebrating one year of dancing with NED (no evidence of disease!) 
Hmmm, it seems like when you sign on this journey (in response to myself below 
When I was recruited for this journey I didn’t realize I was signing on for such a long journey… I’m now 10 months out from my last Herceptin treatment, a month out from my last Zometa treatment and I’m still friggin’ tired 
and I’m now up to walking 5x a week, so what gives? When is this ding dong fatigue ever going to go away? When?! 
Some days I swear are harder than others and today was one of those days… sometimes it hits me real hard of all the stuff that has happened in the last 2 years, jiminy… Surviving cancer treatments definitely isn’t for sissies.
Making a cameo appearance 
I have been wondering how folks are doing, and been wondering if they are like me, doing pretty good, but still tired, still very forgetful, still taking tons of medications, and easily irritated…
ways of doing things, a little slower, a little more forgetful, a little more thoughtful. Cancer and chemotherapy has impacted me in ways that I was not expecting. I’m more thoughtful for one thing, I’m more thoughtful about how I spend my time, I’m more thoughtful about what causes I throw my energy in, I’m more thoughtful about God, and I’m more thoughtful about me. 
Thank you my friends, I wish you strength, wellness and peace, as we now move into our “new normal” way of doing things; I have been honored and blessed by your words.
